Ingredients:

• 250grams plain sweet biscuits, crushed
• (or to be truly decadent, use a packet of Arnott’s chocolate butternut snaps crushed up)
• 150g good quality butter, melted
• 2 teaspoons powdered gelatine
• 2 tablespoons boiling water
• 250g Philly cream cheese, chopped, room temperature
• 1/2 cup castor sugar
• 300mls thickened cream (be really naughty and use King Island Double cream)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 150g Oreo biscuits, roughly smashed and broken (alternatively more chocolate butternut snaps)
• Flake or extra Oreo biscuits to decorate (or try a broken up Crunchie bar – it goes well with the butternut snap alternative)

Directions:

• Lightly grease and line a 20cm x 30 cm slice pan or cake tin. Make sure the paper overhangs the edges, so the cake is easy to remove.
• In a bowl combine the biscuit crumbs and the butter, mixing well and pressing firmly into the base of the tin. Refrigerate for about 30 minutes until nice and firm to the touch.
• In a small jug, whisk the gelatine with the hot water until it dissolves. Allow to cool slightly.
• In another bowl, beat the cream cheese and sugar with an electric beater until it’s smooth and creamy. Then beat in the cream, vanilla and gelatine mixture.
• Fold through the smashed biscuits and pour over the biscuit base.
• Top with the Flake, the Oreos, or the Crunchie bar, depending on your level of decadence.
• Pop in the fridge for an hour or two to allow it to set.
• Serve with some calorie free double cream and a nice glass of Baileys.

Mark’s Grandmother’s
Zucchini Loaf

Makes 2 loaves

Ingredients:

• 3 eggs
• 2 cups brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 2 teaspoons vanilla essence
• 2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon mixed spice
• 1 cup cooking oil
• 3 grated zucchinis (do not peel)
• 2 1/2 cups plain flour
• 3/4 cup walnuts
• 1 1/2 cups raisins or sultanas
• Pinch salt

Directions:

• Beat eggs, add sugar and oil. Mix well.
• Add rest of ingredients and mix altogether.
• Line 2 loaf tins with baking powder.
• Cook at 180 degrees for about 45 minutes.
• Serve warm with butter.

Rich’s recipe for
Yorkshire Puddings

Ingredients:

• Several eggs
• Some flour
• A bit of milk
• Beef fat and oil from the stock

Directions:

• Take a large bowl, preferably the one that
• someone else wants to use.
• Make a cup of tea (‘brew’) – Yorkshire Gold of course – and find the bowl you’ve ‘misplaced’.
• Yell for Mark to get you some eggs, flour and milk.
• Go and have a chat with some customers and a
• wee rest for your tired feet.
• Have another brew.
• Yell for Mark for the eggs, flour and milk.
• Mark points to the eggs, flour and milk waiting
• on the bench as requested.
• Crack eggs, beat into submission and throw in
• some flour and milk, making a runny dough.
• Make another brew.
• Turn on the electric mixer - ask Shenyia why the mixer isn’t working.
• Drive to Good Guys to buy new mixer.
• Have another brew.
• Drop healthy spoonfuls of oil into the bottom
• of muffin pans.
• Ask Mark why he hasn’t turned the oven on.
• Dollop runny mixture on top of the fat.
• Wait for oven to heat, have another brew, when oven is hot put puddin’s in.
• More customers to talk to and another wee rest.
• Wake on couch to the smell of burning.
• Call the fire brigade and evacuate the kitchen.
• Yell for Nitesh to clean a new bowl.
• Yell for Mark for eggs, milk and flour.
• Now do you know why we only allow Rich to make them?